Cullen Blog a thon
by Theonewhostandsout
Summary: Carisile has just discovered Aim & has set up accounts for the family.Set after Breaking Dawn please R
1. Usernames

**I know there's a lot of Cullen chatrooms but I thought this would be funny **

**Usernames**

**Beautiful blonde** _Rosalie _

**Grizzly Vampire bear **_Emmet_

**Klutz 42 **_Bella_

**Pianist guy **_Edward _

**Dr. Vampire cure**_Carisile  
_

**Gardener 20 **_Esme_

**:(** _Jasper _

**Shop acholic **_Alice _

**one of a kind **_Renesme _

**Spicy smokin' dog **_Jacob_

**Big monster cookie **_Mike Newton_

**Wolfy DOO!! **_Seth Clearwater_

**Carls Barkley **_Sam Uley_

**I wanna Sparkley boy! **_Random fangirl _

**Sparkle me heels **_Jessica_

**WTF! **Aro

**Eddie Boy I want u! **_Tanya_

**Purple Confederate eater! **_random Union Solider _

**Fired up **_Tyler Crowley_


	2. Mr PockyPine

**Klutz 42 ****has logged on **

**Klutz 42 **_am I alone in here_

**Grizzly Vampire bear ****has logged on**

**Grizzly Vampire Bear **_Not any more little sis _

**:( Has logged on **

**:( **_Hi where's Alice please don't say shopping _

**Klutz 42 **_She's shopping _

**:( **_Great so I heard Emmet has a new pet _

**Klutz 42 **_What is it _

**Grizzly Vampire bear **_ a pig his name's Mr. PockyPine  
_

**Dr. Vampire Cure ****has logged on **

**Dr. Vampire Cure **_did you really get a pig Emmet _

**Grizzly Vampire bear **_Maybe ,maybe not _

**Dr. Vampire Cure **Emmet show me the pig when I get back but don't expect me to be happy about it

**Pianist guy ****has logged **

**Pianist guy **_Emmet you bought a pig your probly going to sit on it _

**Grizzly Vampire bear **_Yes Mr. po_ckypine_'s awesome & I wouldn't sit on him he's too pink _not to notice

**Klutz 42**_ Emmet you so are going to kill it somehow_

**:( **_I agree with Bella you so will kill it Em there's no doubt about it _

**Grizzly Vampire bear ****has logged off to fed Mr. Pockypine **

**Klutz 42 **_Has he done that before _

**Pianist guy **_Yes but he's a lot worse when he goes to theme parks _

**The chat has ended **

**Grizzly Vampires bear's diary set on public**

Today after the chat ended I sadly fed Mr. Pockypine I love the way his tail spikes up all curly then Carisile came home and found him in a little gated play pin I bought him then Carisile told me that if I do anything stupid like bite him he'd ground me then murder who ever heard of a vampire pig but I do like spider pig from the simpson's movie


	3. BLUE!

Chatroom participants

**Klutz 42**

**Pianist guy**

**Dr. Vampire Cure**

**Grizzly Vampire bear **

**Beautiful Blonde**

**:(**

**Shop acholic  
**

**Chat Subject **_Who painted the pig blue_

**Dr. Vampire Cure **_I know one of you painted the pig_

**Grizzly Vampire bear **_his name is Mr. PockyPine, now who did it _

**Klutz 42**_ not me guys I was with Edward the whole time_

**Pianist guy**_What Bella said _

**Gardener 20 **_not me I was hunting_

**:( **_I might not like the pig but I didn't do it _

**Grizzly Vampire bear **_So you admit to the crime Jazz_

**:( **_No I didn't do that Em how do we know its not you_

**Dr. Vampire Cure **_I took him to the vet's office to pick up pig tags_

**Klutz 42**_ Alice _

**Shop acholic**_ what did I do _

**Dr. Vampire Cure **_Did you do it _

**Pianist guy **_She did it I read her mind then she saw "Mr. PockyPine" on her new Prada bag from Neiman Marcus _

**Dr. Vampire Cure **_Alice why did you do it _why _in god's name did you paint the pig blue_

**Shop acholic**** has left the chatroom to kill the very blue pig that got her grounded & Edward**

**Grizzly Vampire bear **_not Mr. PockyPine _

**Klutz 42 **_not Edward _

**Grizzly Vampire bear ****has left the Chat to go save a blue Mr. PockyPine **

**Klutz 42 left the chatroom to save her husband **

**Dr. Vampire Cure has left the Chat to stop Alice **

**Bella's dairy set on public**

Emmet saved Mr. PockyPine from Alice but Alice did mange to give the pig a makeover. I saved Edward, Alice is grounded from shopping and her credit cards are dust....

Also Emmet the pig has blood you could kill it that way too!


	4. To the Basement!

Chatroom participants

**:(**

**Pianist guy**

**Klutz 42**

**Dr. Vampire Cure**

**Grizzly Vampire Bear**

**Beautiful Blonde**

Chatroom Subject: _Who blew up the Volvo, who burned the piano, and why did you get arrested for drag racing..._

**Dr. Vampire Cure:** _Why, why did you do these things?_

**Pianist guy: **_Who killed my two loves, besides Bella?_

**Dr. Vampire Cure: **Better yet Why'd I have to bail all of you out of Jail?

**Klutz 42: **_We're teenagers it's an oblligation to do this sort of thing..._

**Pianist Guy: **_Seriously who blew up my Volvo with illegal fireworks? All of you are blocking your minds!_

**Grizzly Vampire Bear: **_Mr.-sob- Mr. Pockypine DIED... I can't stop crying_

**Beautiful Blonde: **_Emmy Bear vampires don't cry. Do you want me to come comfort you?_

**Grizzly Vampire Bear: **_Yes- sob- Please, and maybe -sob- we can have a -sob- funeral.._

**Beautiful Blonde:** _Of course_ Emmy..

**Beautiful Blonde _Has logged off to help Emmy Bear_**

**Grizzly Vampire bear _has logged off to have a piggy funeral..._**

**Pianist Guy: **_Where's Alice?_

**:(: **_Last I checked she was at Gucci, oh god. You dont think?_

**Klutz 42: **_You guys think she's robbing a Gucci shop?_

**Dr. Vampire Cure:**_ I just got a call from Alice she's in jail, you were right. She did in fact attempt to rob a Gucci shop. Now I've had to bail everyone except Reneesme out of jail today._

**:(: **_The day is still young..._

**Dr. Vampire cure: **_True, I have to go bail Alice out now, when I get back somebody better confess to blowing up the Volvo when I get back..._

**Dr. Vampire Cure _Has logged out to bail Alice out of jail_**

**Klutz 42: **_Why is everyone except Esme and Reneesme being interogated?_

**:(: **_That is true. I wonder, anyone up for some CSI?_

**Pianist Guy: **_Of Course_

**Klutz 42: **_YEAH!!!!!_

**Pianist Guy: **_Someone's excited_

**Klutz 42: **_I guess.I love u..._

**Pianist guy: **_I love you too Bells_

**:(: **_So let's go investigate..._

**Gardener 20 _has logged on_**

**Gardener 20: **_Did somone call me?_

**Pianist Guy: **_Yes..._

**:(: **_Where were you at approximently 2 P.M. today?_

**Gardener 20: **_In the back yard?_

**Pianist guy: **_My Volvo was blown up in the backyard, at approximentley 2 P.M._

**Klutz 42: **_I just went outside the Volvo Esme's scent is all over it. And the piano reeks of her._

**:(: **_Do you have something to tell us Esme?_

**Gardener 20: **_FINE! I did it, with the help of Emmett! He helped with the fireworks! Then the pig had a heart attack seeing the Volvo blow up!_

**Dr. Vampire Cure: **_Esme!!! Why?_

**Gardener 20: **_I was sick of them! The Volvo always blocked the sun for my flowers, killing them. And I was sick of randomly hearing a piano at 2 in the morning!_

**:(: **_We don't sleep though..._

**Gardener 20: **_I don't have to like randomly hearing Edward play his piano!_

**Klutz 42: **_Are you PMSing?_

**Gardener 20: **_Silly Bella vampires don't PMS! Now let me kill You!_

**Klutz 42: **_NEVER!!!!!_

**Pianist Guy: **_No!!! I waited 100 years for her! I'm not waiting a hundred more!_

**Gardener 20: **_Fine! _

**Pianist Guy: **_Good.._

**Gardener 20: **_I'll kill you both!! -Crazy evil laugh- JASPER! Start the fire!_

**:(:** _No_

**Dr. Vampire cure: **_Should we lock Esme in the basment again?_

**:(:** _YES!_

**Dr. Vampire Cure **_To the basement!_

**Dr. Vampire Cure _has logged off to lock Esme in the basement, again..._**

**_:( has logged off to help Carlisle _**

**Gardener 20 _has logged off to run from the crazy people!_**

**Klutz 42: **_Atleast we know who killed your Volvo now_

**Pianist Guy: **_Yes -sigh- Do you want to go Volvo shopping?_

**Klutz 42: **_Sure and then go order a new piano!_

**Pianist Guy: **_Of course my love..._

**Pianist guy _has logged off to go Volvo shopping with his true love..._**

**Klutz 42 _has logged off to help Edward Volvo/piano shop_**

**Grizzly Vampire bear has logged on **

**Grizzly vampire bear: **_Anyone here?_

**Grizzly Vampire Bear: **_I always miss the action. :(_

**Grizzly Vampire Bear: **_I'm going to go help tie Esme up in the Basement, then follow Charlie the Unicorn into the space time continueum!_

**Grizzly Vampire Bear has left for to many reasons**


	5. CarlisleI'm joining the circus!

**Chat participants:**

**Klutz42**

**Pianstguy**

**Dr. Vampire Cure**

**:(**

**Shop aholic **

**Grizzly vampire bear**

**Chat subject: Why in the hell do I keep having to bail you guys out of jail?**

**Dr. Vampire cure: You guys just had to go and try to street fight and blow up something didn't you?**

**Grizzly Vampire Bear: Pretty much pops**

**Dr. Vampire cure: SHUT UP EMMETT!**

**Grizzly vampire bear: This could be considered verbal abuse you know**

**Dr. Vampire Cure: Not when you've had to bail 6 of your children out of jail 2 times already this week! It's only Tuesday for Christ's sake!**

**:(: It was Mike Newton's idea**

**Dr. Vampire cure: I thought it was Jacob's idea?**

**Pianist guy: They were co-conspirators**

**Dr. Vampire cure: Why weren't they in jail then with the lot of you?**

**Klutz42: Their parents decided not to let them rot in jail... And Charlie got a kick out of seeing me there...**

**:(: Plus Carlisle, u left us there over night... They said if u posted bail then we could leave!**

**Grizzly vampire bear: When we called u told us you'd let us sit there for a couple hundred years**

**Pianist guy: More like hours**

**Klutz42: Well he told me that was what we deserved and he was skipping town to join the circus**

**:(: Carlisle u realize after so long they would've just let us out?**

**Dr. Vampire cure: Yes but the real punishment is when they expect you to eat which we all know the do expect.**

**Klutz 42: Not really; they truly don't care.**

**:(: So u my friend hav some pretty stupid logic plus leaving us in jail gives u a bad rep.**

**Dr. Vampire cure: Does it look like I care? All I care about is your criminal records!**

**Grizzly Vampire Bear: How can we look at you if we're typing/ im-ing**

**Dr. Vampire cure: That's not the point Emmett!**

**:(: I'm pretty sure it is**

**Dr. Vampire Cure: Can't You see I'm having a mental breakdown here?**

**Grizzly Vampire bear: Still can't see you genuis**

**Dr. Vampire cure: SHUT IT BEFORE I find where you keep that damn flamethrower and dismantle it!**

**:(: You said you did that a month ago**

**Grizzly Vampire Bear: He couldn't find it**

**Klutz42: I think I-M-freak-out-Carlisle wishes to say something**

**Dr. Vampire Cure: Yes, yes I do. I'm running away to the circus let your mother out of the basement next Saturday and make sure she doesn't go off edge again. If she does lock her back down there again.**

**Pianist guy: Who'll bail us out of jail when your gone**

**Dr. Vampire cure: You guys did say they'd eventually let you out so you'll have to wait until then. Goodbye psychos!**

**Dr. Vampire Cure has logged out to go join a traveling circus**

**:(: Wild house party?**

**Grizzly Vampire bear: Yes**

**Pianist guy: Hell no**

**Shop acholic: A riot? Drag racing? Or street fighting?**

**Pi****anist guy: None of the above**

**Klutz42: Alice? How long have u been here?**

**ShopAcholic: Long enough**

**Grizzly Vampire Bear: Thats up dog!**

**:(: What's up dog?**

**Grizzly Vampire Bear: Not much just saw Dad leave for the circus.**

**Klutz42: HAHAHA I get it!**

**Shopacholic: Shouldn't we be trying to get Carlisle to come home instead of making retarded jokes?**

**:(: No we should be here.**

**ShopAcholic has left the chat because of idiots who think its normal for there father to leave them and join the circus after having a mental breakdown. **

**Klutz42: That was certainly interesting...**

**Grizzly Vampire bear: I'm buying a cat**

**:(: I'm going to kill your cat**

**Grizzly Vampire Bear: NO! He's going to be a vampire cat who can kill you before you can to squat to him!**

**Pianistguy: To bad I'm calling petsmart to tell them you can't adopt any more pets**

**Grizzly Vampire Bear: AT LEAST LET ME BUY AN IGUANA! His name shall be Harold and I will feed him burritos. **(If u know me then you'll probably understand teh harold the iguana thing)

**:(: Oh great so I'm not going to have to kill the next pet. You'll do that on your own.**

**Grizzly Vampire Bear: NOT LISTENING! NAh uh! Not Listening! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Spongebob squarepants! How died in an oil spill because of bp? NOT spongebob squarepants 'cause he's magical. But the rest of them are dead 'cause they're not magical.**

**Pianist guy: I think I found the person who's most likely to next run away to the circus!**

**Grizzly Vampire Bear: Who?**

**Pianist guy: You**

**Klutz42: I can see that happening.**

**Grizzly Vampire bear: I AM NOT! Now good day! I'm going to get my iguana now!**

**:(: Edward said he was going to call the petsmart people and tell them you couldn't buy any more pets.**

**Grizzly Vampire Bear: I SAID GOOD DAY!**

**Grizzly Vampire Bear has left to go get an iguana before Edward can call the petsmart people**

**Klutz42: wtf**

**:(: My sentiments exactly**

**Pianist guy: Great now I have to look up the number for petsmart before he can drive five minutes to petsmart.**

**Klutz42: Petsmart's 30 miles away**

**Pianist guy: He has four wheel drive. Nothing takes long when Emmett has four wheel drive**

**Klutz42: To the phonebook!**

**:(: Huzzah!**

**Klutz42:Found the # yet love?**

**Pianist guy: I'm calling the petsmart people right now!**

**Shopacholic: he makes it! The crowd goes wild!**

**:(: Huzzah!**

**Klutz42: He's probably heading to one who's number we can't find**

**Pianist guy: Screw it Bella do you want to enjoy the fact we're lacking parental supervision for as long as we can?**

**Klutz42: we r legal adults**

**Pianist guy: Well we're in a family of people who r crazy, hun. We're going to hav to play parents**

**Klutz42: Emmett's going to get grounded when he gets back then**

**:(: Or I can kill the new pet**

**Klutz42: NO! That's so mean!**

**:(: The civil war was mean 2 Bella**

**Klutz42: Not good enough. But you're going to be under house arrest if his 'pet' dies. If it has to go away I'm taking it back not killing it**

**Shopacholic: That won't happen Emmett's going to get to keep it**

**Pianist guy: Shut it Alice **

**Shopacholic: Just saying...**

**:(: Let the kid hav fun**

**Shopacholic: Emmett's like 70**

**Klutz42: JAZZ CHANGED TEAMS! **

**Klutz42: NOT LIKE THAT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Pianist guy: Alice the point is that... u know what ur clothes r being burned...**

**Pianist guy has logged off to grab his wife and daughter and run like hell**

**:(: Anybody actually still here?**

**Klutz42 has logged off to become a fire starter with the hubs and go all pyromaniac on Alice's clothes**

**Shopacholic has logged off to kill the Bedward**

**:(: I feel lonely**

**The chat has ended**


End file.
